i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
