you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
