And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
