you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
