U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
