these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
