He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
