Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dicks are not precious.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
