I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
