why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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