Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
