this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Randomize
