sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
