he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
