He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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