my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
