Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
i am craving dick and cupcakes
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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