her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
