1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
