bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
