i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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