Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
