I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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