it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
