New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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