THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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