can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
