oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
