True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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