I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
