Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You can't special order awesome
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My vagina just recognized that song.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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