At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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