we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
