As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
