So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
oh god was she eating orange peels again
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
