We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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