Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
