walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
