I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
