i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
