why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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