I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
