try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
