Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
