the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
