spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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