Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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