I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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