tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
