Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I am available for nakedness
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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