No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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