I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
