fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
