did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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