I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
