he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
