soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
This can only be settled by a dance off.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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