Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
