just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
