yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
