well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just high enough for therapy.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
