never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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