i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
