there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
