please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
