i think i have two assholes
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
